I've been blessed with an amazing mother and father who cared more than anything about their children and who I'm sure spent many sleepless nights contemplating how best to deal with situations involving us kids. Hindsight is always 20/20 and while my training is no where near complete, I'm now in a better position to look back and see the good things they did. And I think one of the things I appreciate the most is their constant focus on the big picture. It takes a great deal of courage to do what you feel in your heart is right regarding your children - even if that means allowing them to experience life's harsh realities which at the moment may make you "unpopular" in their youthful and inexperienced eyes - knowing that in the end, even if you don't see the fruits of your labor until 40 years down the road, it will be for the best.
Well, I came across this passage in a book entitled Joseph Smith's America and thought it must have been ripped right out of my mom's book on raising children.
It comes from Lydia Maria Child in her 1831 Mother's Book (She also wrote The American Frugal Housewife):
"The period from twelve to sixteen years of age is extremely critical in the formation of character, particularly with regard to daughters. The imagination is then all alive, and the affections are in full vigor, while the judgment is unstrengthened by observation, and enthusiasm has never learned moderation of experience (aka “Teen Crap” as it’s called in the Mathews household). During this important period, a mother cannot be too watchful. As much as possible, she should keep a daughter under her own eye; and above all things she should encourage entire confidence towards herself. This can be done by a ready sympathy with youthful feeling, and by avoiding all unnecessary restraint and harshness. I believe it is extremely natural to choose a mother in preference to all other friends and confidants; but if a daughter, by harshness, indifference, or an unwillingness to make allowance for youthful feeling, is driven from the holy resting place which nature has provided for her security, the greatest danger is to be apprehended. Nevertheless, I would not have mothers be too indulgent, for fear of weaning the affections of children. This is not the way to gain the perfect love of young people; a judicious parent is always better beloved, and more respected, than a foolishly indulgent one. The real secret is, for a mother never to sanction the slightest error, or imprudence, but at the same time to keep her heart warm and fresh, ready to sympathize with all the innocent gayety and enthusiasm of youth. Salutary restraint, but not unnecessary restraint, is desirable.It is a great mistake to think that education is finished when young people leave school. Education is never finished. Half the character is formed after we cease to learn lessons from books; and at that active and eager age it is formed with a rapidity and strength absolutely startling to think of. Do you ask what forms it? I answer the every-day conversation they hear, the habits they witness, and the people they are taught to respect. Sentiments thrown out in jest, or carelessness, and perhaps forgotten by the speaker, as soon as uttered, often sink deeply into the youthful mind, and have a powerful influence on future character. This is true in very early childhood; and it is peculiarly true of the period when youth is just ripening into manhood. Employ what teachers we may, the influences at home will have the mightiest influences in education. School-masters may cultivate the intellect; but the things said and done at home are busy agents in forming the affections; and the last have infinitely more important consequences than the first."
Yay or nay? Any advice from mother's out there is most definitely welcome...
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