If I hear this one more time, I think I'm gonna scream

#1 Every time I meet a new person the question of whether or not I'm in school always comes up. This is fine. It's the conversation that follows this inquiry that gets me in a huff. The rest of the conversation usually goes something like this:

"No, I graduated last year."

"Oh great! What did you graduate in?"

"History."

::Silence::

"Oh."

::Silence::

"What are you going to do with that? Teach?"

What is it about my chosen field that renders people speechless? Do you feel sorry for me? And apparently the only thing one can do with a History degree is teach. Lately this conversation has ended quite positively because, at the moment, I can tout a job in the Church History Dept. "Oh great!" people say. Because, hey, good for you, you found something other than teaching to do with that utterly useless major.

Why, oh why do I always have to defend my major? Ya, I have a History degree and I'm proud of it! So you can just take your little cool "sounding" degree like biology, or finance, or communications and go to you know where. What are you going to do with your major? And you know what? I can do a lot of things you can't do! Can you bust out a 10+ page, footnoted paper in 4 1/2 hours? Can you piece together property titles and discover land ownership for a 100 year period? Can you read and comprehend 8-10 books per semester--per class? Can you do well in classes with essay tests where its practically impossible to ever get a 100% because, you know, no paper is absolutely perfect? No, you're sittin' pretty with your multiple choice tests. Can you look at today's world and see parallels with the past that can, in fact, enlighten your understanding, broaden your scope, and open your mind? No? Alright then.

#2 "How tall are you?" Which is inevitably followed by "Did you know that if you were (whatever number they make up) inches shorter you'd be a midget/legally handicapped/get a sticker for your car and get to park in the close parking spaces?" Why thank you! You're the first person to EVER tell me that. I'm sure glad I have you around. Maybe I'll just skip right over to the DMV and see if they'll give me my complementary midget sticker anyway, I'm close enough right?

Yes people, I get it, I'm a little shorter than most. But guess what? I'll be laughing all the way to the shoe store because I can wear whatever size heel I want and not have to worry about it. And shoes always look cuter on my little feet anyway, so there!

#3 "How old are you?"

So yesterday I was at the Family History library looking at land deeds for Joseph Smith's Kirtland store using my amazing skills I learned as a HISTORY MAJOR. Well my little card doohicky that I normally use to print wasn't working so I went to the desk to get one of their extra ones and the following conversation took place...

"Excuse me, my bypass card isn't working so I..."

"Now how old are you?"

"23."

"Oh, ::snicker, snicker::, I remember the first time I saw you come in here and I thought to myself, "What is that little girl doin' here, she should be in school."

"Ha ha" ::I'm gonna give you my best fake laugh because you're a nice missionary and I'm sure you think you're really funny, but really, you should get an award for the most insulting version of "I thought you were 14" I've ever heard::

"Just give me the *$#@ card!" (Ok I didn't really say that).

Really people? If you want to ask me how old I am--fine. No problem. I realize I look a lot younger than I am. But for the love of pete, when I tell you my real age, DON'T follow it up with "Oh, I thought you were (fill in the blank with any number ranging from 14-20)." Keep that little tid bit in your head. And one more thing, at this point in my life, when I'm trying to look mature and attractive to the male population, it DOES NOT make me feel any better to say "Oh, you'll be grateful you look so young one of these days." Great! I hope you're right, but not right now!!

Whew. I think I'm done. The rage has been successfully transferred to the blogosphere.

And p.s. If you have said something like this to me, don't worry. Don't think I hate you. It's just me, it's all me :) From now on, I'm gonna choose not to be offended. Thank you.