You know you’re from Las Vegas if…
1. You know which one is Siegfried and which one is Roy
2. You know how to get to any casino on the strip without taking Las Vegas Blvd
3. You can now predict where construction signs will be misleadingly placed
4. You accept the fact that stop signs and red lights mean very little to tourists
5. You have no idea how a lottery works
6. Limos are an everyday sighting
7. You've attended a drive through wedding
8. You've been to a museum... at a casino
9. Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof
10. The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one
11. It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets
12. You actually burn your hand opening the car door
13. The water in your pool has been too hot to swim in and you don’t even have a heater
14. You have visited the Statue of Liberty, Venice, the Eiffel Tower, and the Pyramids without having to leave town
15. The song “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” has no meaning to you
16. You’ve golfed in December in a short sleeved shirt
17. You’ve tried to work on your car in the summer and burned your hand picking up a wrench that was left in the sun less than two minutes before
18. You have never had a car battery last longer than three years
19. You have seen more Elvis impersonators than policemen
20. You only go to the Strip when you have people visiting from out of town
21. You have gone grocery shopping at 3:00 am
22. You've never seen a closed gas station
23. You are still asked "smoking or non?" when you go to out to eat
24. You remember the ugly lion
25. You can wear pants in the summer and shorts in the winter
26. You don't pay a State Tax, thanks for coming J
27. You know that prostitution is illegal in Las Vegas
28. You are in a town with 24/7 entertainment but you can’t find anything to do
29. The grass isn't greener on the other side, it's just less brown
30. You know your mayor used to work for the mob and still hangs out with show girls
31. Growing up here...you realize it's actually a "small city"
32. You learned how to use crayon's by playing KENO at restaurants when you were a kid
33. ...WET and WILD!!!!
34. You use to have to run across the street in your bare feet in the Summer to prevent second degree burns
35. You go to other cities and see these “stars” that you learned about in school.
36. You have never bought a nightlight for your children. You just open the blinds to their window
37. Before people come to visit from out of town they can’t get the concept that you don’t live in a casino
38. You think it was better when the Mob ran the town
39. The best parking spaces are always determined by shade rather than distance
40. You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water
41. You have no idea what a scarf does but think it looks good
42. You don't own an umbrella
43. When you go to different cities, you're amazed things aren't open after 9 pm
44. You know the spaghetti bowl has nothing to do with food and you want nothing to do with it
45. Snowfall is something that only happens on TV
46. You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever
47. You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car
48. You've had a second degree burn from your seatbelt
49. You leave a bottle of water in your car for only 30 minutes, and it's boiling hot
50. You’ve had at least 10 Chapsticks melt in your car
51. When buying a car, the most important thing you consider is how cold the a/c can get
52. You have never seen a snow shovel and don’t know anyone who owns one
53. You wouldn’t know what to do with it if you did!
54. You have discovered that you can get a sunburn through your car window
55. Half of the people you know work in a casino
56. You realize that asphalt has a liquid state
57. Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?"
58. You notice your car overheating before you drive it
59. It doesn't faze you to see slot machines in grocery stores
60. The only volcano you've seen is in front of the Mirage
61. Half of your neighbors are from California and the other half are from New York
62. They all moved to Nevada to avoid oppressive taxes, but now demand the same services that they had at home
63. You think a well-organized pile of rocks can be a nice lawn
64. You can say 115 degrees without fainting. (But it's a dry heat!!!)
65. You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over l00 degrees. (Thank God for Mount Charleston!)
66. Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer
67. The term Lake Las Vegas doesn't seem problematic in the slightest
68. You have to walk through a casino to see a movie
69. Sixty degrees is cold enough to wear a jacket
70. You can wear shorts in the winter
71. You get bored in the ‘Entertainment Capital of the World’
72. You are outraged to pay more than 9.99 for prime rib and a lobster tail
73. What the heck is a last call?
74. You know the seasons: Really hot, 2 weeks of nice, not so hot, 2 weeks of nice
75. You know never to merge right when driving north on I-15; it'll just end anyway
76. You've never had to pay for parking
77. And no, we do not live in Los Angeles and commute every day! People actually live in Las Vegas!
1 comment:
The brakes on your car never last more then 15000 miles.
You can drive a car for the first five minutes by barely touching the steering wheel.
You have over 50 players club cards.
You only go on the Strip when friends or family are in town.
The city looks nothing today like it did 30 years ago.
You know where all the old casinos "used to be".
60 degrees is warm enough for shorts and cold enough for a jacket.
You have to go through a casino to see a movie or go bowling.
You've spent less for dinner at a buffet then you have for a fast-food combo meal.
Police and ambulance sirens, and helicoptors hovering overhead don't phase you.
You've seen bands and singers who were big more then ten years ago.
Stores and businesses are actually open on major holidays.
You've had to work on Christmas day.
There are slot machines and/or video poker machines in every grocery store, convenience store, and gas station, but you have politicians who are outraged at the idea of having a state lottery.
You've driven to Primm or 27 miles into Arizona to buy a Powerball or Mega Millions ticket.
You know to use Desert Inn Rd to get to the other side of Las Vegas Blvd and to use Industrial Rd to go north or south near the Strip.
People on the strip pass out pictures of nude or nearly nude women with prices and phone numbers on them, but the county commission won't allow a family nudist colony.
You have no idea why Ikea will never put a store here.
You know you have to go to Pahrump for a brothel.
You can't turn your head without seeing a pawn shop, payday loan office, bail-bonds office, Del Taco, or advertisement for a lawyer.
The advertising jingle for Glen Lerner or Half Price Lawyers is permanently burned into your head.
You learned quickly that most of the "free gifts" the casinos give you for earning a certain number of points would be cheaper to get if you just bought them outright.
You've actually stayed in a hotel room here even though you live here.
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